WAR

I AM MOVING BITCHES.

2009-08-03T02:34:00.004+08:00

Jasmine want to move to onsugar.com and she forced me to move tgt. Anw, the page is realllly pretty and pink so okeh can. And anyway, pretty much no one has my blogger link so yes. Bai blogger, thanks for entertaining my first 10 entries!

xoxo

MURDERWESHALL.ONSUGAR

New song.

2009-08-02T23:39:00.000+08:00

We write a song, a ~~love~~ new song for you.

Omg we so kewtzz I buaytahan liaoz,

The Freeze

2009-08-02T16:29:00.000+08:00

The blue shone through you like a cold light.

I could feel what you felt. It poured out your eyes into mine.

Bathed in light, I walked towards you and became a part of the colouring.

A part of the hue.

We painted a life, painted.

So much for all the past tense.
Rushing assignments at Eve's right now && being made use as a photographer while I'm here.

Bai worldz.

A hundred sleepless nights.

2009-08-02T04:22:00.004+08:00

We wanted a war but we called it peace. And we bombed each other’s cities till nothing was left. Now you’ve left me alone to take care of the wounded. The least you’ve could’ve done was help me bury the dead.

Sick and tired of staying up late because once I lay down, you come into thoughts. (My bed also needs to kena chrome -.-) Not only that, House is so addictive. Addiction for the probationers.

Today, someone came up to me and asked me how old I am. Many of you have said I'm only as old as I feel. In that case, I am age "Confused/annoyed/upset".

This world is stupidly cruel sometimes. Don't let it make you part of the problem. It'll tell you that the way you say things are more important than what you say. The world is wrong. Trust me, I know. Yes, we are more alike than anyone realises and yes, I am the same and feel the same things as you <3.

So my personal advice to you is to tie down any lose objects and strap any pets you have to your body. If you have time, tape cushions to the walls.

Ready, set, go!

*Need to stop posting sappy lines.

**See you in aprox 2hrs time bg. Sleep is for the weak ^^

Behind open doors,

2009-08-01T16:59:00.003+08:00

July, you've been a bad month. ~~Nothing good came out of you.~~ I'm glad you're over because August seems pretty exciting already. Goodbye and good riddance!

Hello August. Please be good to me, to us. We plead.

This is the acceptance speech. The end of anger and denial. I accept that you and I will never be the same again. That while those days will live in my mind forever, they’re over. I hate it. But I accept it. And I’m moving on now.

I burnt my tongue on you. Now I've lost all sense of taste. Or decency.

2009-08-01T00:40:00.006+08:00

Good day, bad day. I need to stop paying for other peoples' mistakes. Literally, before I go broke. It's like throwing 100 dollar bills onto the sidewalk on purpose. Give me back my money please.

Have fun in town you bunch, without me. Probation is such a cunt.

& was afraid of bumping into you and you in town. I did, I didn't.

So near yet so far.

You cannot go back in time, even if you wish it with every fiber of your being, your heart and soul, even if you think about it every day. Trust me. I should know.

xoxoxoxo

And to my classmate:

I DO NOT HAVE A FUCKING STROKE. I emphasize on the words DO NOT.

Please stop coming to me saying "Oh, I prayed for you to get better" etc because there is nothing for me to get better from and I have never been fucking better. Stop feeling sorry for me because I'm totally fucking fine. It's just a dental fucking surgery, not a goddamn stroke. Zomg. I'll start praying for you.

Almost Lover

2009-07-30T23:00:00.010+08:00

It's when you hold eye contact for that second too long or maybe the way you laugh. It sets off a flash and our memories take a picture of who we are at that point when we first know "This is love." We clutch that picture to our hearts because we expect each other to always be the people in that picture but people change. People aren't pictures. You can either take a new picture or throw the old one away.

To all my friends going through a heart break right now (frigging friggging a lot a lot a lot idk why), be strong because you know you're not alone. I can introduce yall other brokenhearteds ^^ Kidding.

G, hope you're feeling better now. It was ): watching your tears while I sit there helpless, useless and giving stupid advice.

On pure coincidence, Eve and I wore the same necklace and ripped stockings out today.

1, 2 whoop whoop!

We walked along a crowded street you took my hand and danced with me.

I've realized love does not hurt. It's the absence of it that does.

When you held my hand, I died. I died there and then.

*Honey, your favourite song is playing on the radio.

Neopets.

2009-07-30T12:33:00.006+08:00

I am sleep deprived and am currently in the library playing Neopets. God, I need a life.

You taught and turned me into what I am with fire and steel and hurt and hate because that's what happened to you. But I will teach and turn with love and kindness. I will kill your spiral. Good or bad, right or wrong, you'll only ever really hear the truth after you've been fucked.

Update: Dota-ing in class naow ^^ And the frigging teacher don't wna let me off. Sorrrrry Georgy I'm gna be late!!1

P.s Disturbia x78765432345678654326 infinity. All the acronyms need to stop!

Nil

2009-07-30T04:14:00.001+08:00

So yes, we could kiss. I could kiss you and you could kiss me. There's no science, plane ticket or clock stopping us. But if we kiss, it will end the world. And I've ended the world before. No one survived. Least of all me.

After the long conversation you decided to forget. 14m, forget.

You want out, I give you out.

Good night

Animosity and a thousand apologies.

2009-07-29T21:27:00.010+08:00

Just when I thought the day couldn't possibly get any worse. I had to see it. I just had to click on it.. I want to close my eyes and sleep and stop breathing and not wake up. You penetrated my shield and now it's safe to say, I give up on hope.

-------------------------------------------------------------

I don't know where to begin. You're ruining my ~~life~~ mood.

Today, the things I heard made me move on. I'm done my friend, done I stress.

To E: I'm sorry you had to put up with all of this. To always hear "I don't like you because Ning is your best friend". I never intended for any of this. Thank you for always sticking by me through whatever. Especially now, during this crappy period where He is against me. You know I love you.

To you: Stop all your nonsense and bull crap please. It's childish and retarded. You're not only ruining my life but everyone elses too. You're putting Kt in a difficult position and you still dare to ask for help. Search within yourself and you'll realise why everyone is upset with you. Choosing friends is so primary school & you know you'll definitely see me somewhere around be it with ~~your~~ my friends or not. I feel such a fool for texting you yesterday. Never going to abuse substances anymore.

To Kt: Truly truly deeply sorry for putting you in a difficult position. I know you don't want to choose but if you have to, don't choose the latter. I will quietly leave. I had no idea how serious this got and I know I caused all these unnecessary problems.

To the rest: Thanks for sticking by me and telling me you enjoy my company (Georgggyyyy). I know it isn't sympathy talk. See you tmrw ^^

So much for always being the happy girl.

I should listen to my own advice: Chin up emo kid, for tomorrow will be a better day.

And Kegan, I'm super relieved with the good news you told me today.

Lol @ facebook's SexBot application. I'm like uncountable people's #1 -.-

Good night folks.

The happy blogging day will never come -.-

Luv struckz.

2009-07-29T01:13:00.009+08:00

To J, Jt and C:

There are times when we are timid and shy about expressing the love we feel. For fear of embarrassing the other person, or ourselves, we hesitate to say the actual words "I love you." So we try to communicate the idea in other words.

We say 'take care' or 'don't drive too fast' or 'be good.' But really, these are just other ways of saying 'I love you,' 'you are important to me,' 'I care what happens to you.'

We are sometimes very strange people. The only thing we want to say, and the one thing that we should say, is the one thing we don't say.

And yet, because the feeling is so real, and the need to say it is so strong, we are driven to use other words and signs to say what we really mean. And many times the meaning never gets communicated at all and the other person is left feeling unloved and unwanted.

Therefore, we have to listen for love in the words that people are saying to us. Sometimes the explicit words are necessary, but more often, the manner of saying things is even more important. A joyous insult carries more affection and love within the sentiments which are expressed insincerely.

An impulsive hug says I love you even though the words might be saying a very different thing.

Any expression of a person's concern for another says I love you. Sometimes the expression is clumsy, sometimes even cruel. Sometimes we must look and listen very intently for the love that contains. But it is often there, beneath the surface.

Eg. I come home way past my curfew and my father confronts me with angry words. I may hear only the anger but if I listen carefully, I'd hear the love under the anger. "I was worried about you vbecause I care about you and I love you. You are important to me."

Both of you including Eve are gna kill me for typing this but here goes.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves."

- 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Yes I read it to you on the phone and you laughed at me but still, love is love is love.

I myself don't believe in love. Love is for the weak. Please be strong.

Lol @ myself. I'm giving the worst advice possible. Be strong because things will change for the better. Your 'lover' will appear in time (long long more).

Speaking of which, everyone seems so love struck now. Why is that so?

Mmmm.

Good night folks.

P.S

LOVE might be a happy thing.

It makes us laugh,

It makes us sing,

It makes us sad,
It makes us cry,
It makes us seek the reason why,
It makes us take,
It makes us give,
But ultimately, do you want it?

I love you three.

P.s I love you too Eve! I have to upload this picture of you cuz it's so frigging hilarious! Step Dslr only ^^

P.p.s I didn't know why I texted you.

I was buzzed out.

Gd night boy!

Fb

2009-07-28T02:16:00.001+08:00

If this was as easy as a Fb status, I would unlike you in a click.

Fml.

2009-07-27T11:35:00.007+08:00

This is got to be the worse day of my life.

Today, I was walking to the busstop. It started to rain and the winds were so stong, it overturned my umbrella. The bus passed and I got drenched. Terribly. Fml.

Weak.

That's what I am. Still am nursing a toothache which I have to go for surgery due to some nerve problem.

I'm gna be strong about you, how ironic.

A million times.

2009-07-27T10:13:00.003+08:00

Try try try I will try my best to..

I can't sleep every night because my bed has your overwhelming smell.

I thought you said you'd disappear?

Still want you ):

Bye.

Bang bang shoot shoot shoot.

2009-07-26T23:59:00.001+08:00

You lied and you cheated and you lied a little more. I feel so sinister, I don't want to.

So so I'm not angry anymore. I was so spiteful, behaving like a child. Sorry much. There isn't a point to be angry with you anyway.

Life goes on.

Good night twerps!

xxxxxxxxxxx

&& Rothsman made my day by letting me draw my signature happy girl stick figure amongst his heavily tattooed body. In turn, I got a black dick scribbled on my shin!

Am gna dota now, gna be reminded of you.

Let the healing begin bitches :D

New post.

2009-07-24T05:55:00.001+08:00

Okay, I just created a blog to rant.

There's too much anger in me. The events of today were too hysterical. I don't know why I did what I did and I apologise for being rude and repulsive. If I did hurt you in any way (I don't think I did), I'm sorry. Whatever queer feeling you have about me now, it applies to yourself too. I don't know what to feel about this, about you. You left me hanging and now I'm trying to pull myself up. You told me what you wanted and I'm trying to not be affected by it.

I'm actually supposed to feel happy about confronting and clearing the air with you but I'm not. I feel like crap. Crappy as hell if I were to admit. Not an inch of me feels good about it even though everyone is being so supportive.

I suppose what they said was right. You're fucked up. You enjoy fucking peoples' lives up. Deep down inside, you're evil. Pure evil. I honestly don't wish you well in life.

Good night cunt. I hope I feel better about myself.

I ~~want~~ need to stop thinking of you.